Aviation jokes

I'm still looking for 2 more adults to join me and my wife.

We leave early Saturday morning (Feb 6th) from New York and will fly to Boston , where we will have breakfast, then have lunch on a friend’s yacht. Then we’ll do a flight along the coast, up to Cape Elizabeth returning to Boston for dinner, then fly back home. If interested, please message me.

Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go.

3 friends were talking about their sons careers while 4th one was in toilet.

Friend 1: My son is millioner and he is one of owners of airport. He is so rich that he gave his friend airplane for his birthday last month.

Friend 2: My son is millioner as well, he is owner of big clothing brand. He is so rich he gave his friend most expensive clothes for his birthday last month.

Friend 3: My son is millioner as well, he is one of owners of famous electronics brand. He gave his friend 100 000 dollars worth of electronics for his birthday last month.

4th friend comes out of bathroom and returns to his friends

Friend 4: Heyy what are you talking about?

Friend 1: About our sons careers, can you tell us what your son does for living?

Friend 4: My son works in gay bar

Friend 2: Ohh, well that is sad

Friend 4: No, i am really proud of him. And actually he is doing pretty great! He got airplane, expensive clothes and 100000 worth of electronics for his birthday last month by his 3 boyfriends.

The Norwegian dropped an orange off the plane. The pilot repeated: "Too much weight! Too much weight!"

The Swede dropped a banana peel. Yet again there was the request: "Too much weight! Too much weight!"

The Finn dropped a bomb. When the plane finally landed, the Finn, Swede and Norwegian went for a walk and eventually ran into a crying boy.

"Why are you crying?"
"An orange hit me in the head!"

They moved on and after a while ran into a crying girl.

"Why are you crying?"
"I slipped on a banana peel..."

After a few more minutes on the road, they met a girl and a boy who were laughing with tears in their eyes.

"What's got you so happy?"
"Our teacher farted so hard the school blew up!"

Finally they come. The people can see them through the windows, they get inside the plane and the passengers are freaked out. Both pilot and co-pilot are wearing blindfolds marking them as blind, have white canes with them and dark sunglasses. The people freak out a bit, but after both of them get into the cockpit and start the plane, they calm down and are convinced it was just a stupid joke. So the plane starts rolling, and rolling and rolling on the runway. This airport runway is ending at a cliff, and the plane approaches it and doesn't seem to make any attempts to start. The people start screaming in panic, in this moment the plane takes off into the sky and everyone calms down. In the cockpit the co-pilot turns to the pilot and grumbles: "You know, one day they're going to scream too late, and we're all going to die."

So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:

"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?"

– "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians"

"Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?"

-"I am! But how did you know?"

"Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I needed, and you told me in such a way that it's no use to me at all!"

– "Dang! By the way, are you a principal investigator?"

"Geeze! How'd you know that????"

– "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air, you start asking questions after you get into trouble, and you're in exactly the same spot you were a few minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."