Relationships jokes

The boy obeyed. The boy returned home and reported to his mom.

Son: Mom! I led the cat far into the jungle. I even got lost!!

Mother: How were you able to come back home?

Son: I followed the cat.

He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back. "What's up?" asks his mate. "Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress." His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you." He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world."

What method of contraception do you use?

I’m always really nice and kind.

- Peter, 32, best friend of many, many women

Doctor : Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went.

One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!

Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..

Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please.

"Nah, there's no need" I replied.

"But why?" she asked. "We always pray at home when I cook dinner."

"Because I think we'll be fine here, the chef knows what he's doing."

Wife gets angry and says "and you are stubborn, arrogant, a low life who cares about no one but yourself. All you are interested in is your own self, all your life you have not fulfilled even one of your promises. You good for nothing, fat, ugly man. Even your hair transplant failed."

Husband: "Calm down, I was just informing you that your Covid test is negative."

Wife: "Oh! Sorry honey!"

5 years old son,

After watching a story of an Emperor on TV:

"Mum, I also want 7 wives, one will cook for me, one will read for me, one will go for walk with me, one will sing for me,one can bath me...."

Mum smiled and said:

"Then night time I don't have to accompany you to sleep".

After some thought, son said: "Not possible, I still want to sleep with you mummy!"

Moms eyes fill up with tears of happiness:

"My sweet son!"

"Then who will sleep with your 7 wives?"

"Let them sleep with daddy!"

Dads eyes fill up with tears of happiness:

"My sweet son!"

To see her reaction,he told her that he wants a second girlfriend,

In the first day he didn't see anything.

In the second day he didn't see anything.

In the third day he began to see a little bit from his right eye.