Find a woman who makes you laugh; find a woman who turns you on; find a woman who can cook; find a woman who wants to build a life with you and take care of you in old age. Make sure these four women never meet.
Category: Girl Friend Jokes
A second girlfriend
To see her reaction,he told her that he wants a second girlfriend,
In the first day he didn’t see anything.
In the second day he didn’t see anything.
In the third day he began to see a little bit from his right eye.
A married man was visiting his “girlfriend” when she suggested that he shave his beard.
“Oh Ken, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.” Ken replied, “My wife loves this beard, there is no way I could shave it, she would kill me!!”. “Oh please?” the girlfriend asked again in a sexy little voice. Ken sighed and finally gave in and shaved his face smooth.
That night Ken crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping. His wife woke up, reached over and felt his face and said, “Oh Tony, you shouldn’t be here, my husband will be home soon!”
Two men are playing golf when one realises he’s left his jacket at the last tee
He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back. “What’s up?” asks his mate. “Well, you see those two women at the tee. One’s my wife, and she’s playing with my mistress.” His mate laughs and says, “No worries, I’ll go get it for you.” He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says “Small world.”
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why do you want to talk to me?” she asked puzzled.
“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”
What method of contraception do you use?
What method of contraception do you use?
I’m always really nice and kind.
– Peter, 32, best friend of many, many women
My girlfriend is always yelling at me
How competitive we are
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
Why did I get divorced?
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.
I need 911 help
Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what’s your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.